If You’re Feeling Nervous About Starting Therapy, Read This.

If you're starting therapy and find yourself getting more anxious as the first session approaches - you're not alone.

As a therapist, I know that people often attend that first appointment with a lot going on in their head. They have expectations, they have hopes and of course, they also have fears.

Here's some things that I wish all my clients knew before they came into a first appointment with me:

1. Take the free consult before you commit!

Finding the right therapist is a bit like finding the right pair of shoes—sometimes you have to try a few on before you find the perfect fit. Before committing (financially and emotionally) to a first session - take up the free consult. This is usually a 15 minute chat with the therapist either in person, via video or via phone call where you can get a sense of the therapist, and ask any questions you might have. This is as much about you assessing the therapist as it is about them assessing you.

2. You don't need a perfect plan for the first appointment.

You might feel pressure to have a clear, concise summary of your entire life ready to go. The truth is, you don't. Your therapist's job is to help guide the conversation. It's okay to just say, "I'm not sure where to start," or "I'm feeling a bit nervous." The session is about exploring, not performing.

3. Write a few things down.

If you're worried about drawing a blank, jot down a few bullet points beforehand. You can write down some of the main reasons you're seeking therapy, a few key feelings you've been having, or even just some questions you have about the process. This can be a great anchor if you feel stuck.

4. Remember, it's a conversation.

A good therapist will work to make you feel comfortable. Think of the first session as a low-stakes conversation where you're both figuring out if this is a good fit. It's a chance for you to see if their style works for you and for them to understand how they might be able to help. There's no pressure to get everything "right."

5. Ground yourself in the moment.

If you find yourself getting lost in anxious thoughts on the way to your appointment, try a simple grounding exercise. Focus on your five senses:

• What are five things you can see? (The color of a car, a crack in the pavement)

• What are four things you can feel? (The texture of your clothes, the warmth of your phone in your hand)

• What are three things you can hear? (The sound of traffic, your own breathing)

• What are two things you can smell? (Fresh air, coffee)

• What is one thing you can taste? (Whatever's lingering in your mouth) This simple exercise can bring you back to the present and help calm your nervous system.

5. It's okay to cry.

You're entering a space where you can finally let your guard down. It's not uncommon for emotions to surface unexpectedly, and that's perfectly okay. Tears are not a sign of weakness; they're a natural and healthy release. Your therapist is trained to handle these moments with care and compassion—not judgment.

 6. Think of it as a trial run.

Have a think about how you feel about the session after it ends. Do you feel heard? Do you feel safe? It's okay if the answer isn't a resounding "yes" right away, but trust your gut. If it doesn't feel right after a couple of sessions, it's okay to explore other options.